Posts Tagged 'grandpa'

O wait. We need to talk about something else.

Today is my Grandpa’s funeral.  Did you all forget about him?  You did right?  Its ok.  Its my fault.  I can’t seem to spread my crapness out evenly.  I’m sorry.  I’ll work on it ok?

I am going to be spending the next 4 days down with my family.  We have the funeral, a memorial, a burial, some sort of party, a church service, probably a circus and I think I heard something about a concert?  I’ve been referring to this extravaganza as funeralpalooza.  I mean really?  4 days?

I plan on being the drunk in the corner the whole time.  Who’s going to stop me?  And if they do?  O well wont they feel pretty foolish when I bark back with tails of my husband leaving me for no reason and divorce.

…I said I’d work on separating out the crap.  Its a process.



At 9:30 tonight my grandfather passed away.  He was not alone.  My Mom was with him and he died peacfully.

I will miss you always, Grandpa.  You are the funny in my bones.  I love you forever.


I’m not pregnant.

OK OK.  For everyone left feeling a bit confused because I told my Grandpa we’ve been planning a baby but didn’t follow that up with “but I seem to kill them accidentally”, no.  I am not pregnant.

I wanted my Grandpa to know that we are actually working on it.  There is more to that story, but I’m keeping that to myself for now.  I may let the world in on all the intimate workings of my vagina, but some things just need to be private ya know?

Don’t worry world, I will make it very clear when I am in fact preggers.  In fact, you’ll all probably sense something is up without even reading my blog just based on the amount of excitement I’ll be spewing.  Maybe a little extra warmth?  Or a bit of ground movement?  You’ll know.  Believe me.  You’ll know.

Update on Grandpa is there is no update.  He’s still kickin.  And by kickin, I mean actually kicking.  He likes to kick his leg up in the air for no reason.  He does it all day.  I like to think he’s kicken the grim reeper in the balls and telling him to come back later.  Maybe he’s just checkin out his awesome skinny legs?

Two steps forward

Well?  Gramps is back in ICU.  Not exactly sure what is going on although I do know that he’s bleeding.  They said he’s gone through 7 bags of blood and they haven’t found the source of the bleeding yet (they are working on that now).  I say: get a starving vampire?  Isn’t that like getting a plumber for a leaking sink?  He’ll find the leak.

I’m not in a full fledged panic.  He is in very good hands.  Uncontrolled bleeding is obviously a bad thing, but as long as he’s being treated and they are working on a solution, it means they haven’t given up.  So I am not giving up either.

On another note, Mark’s hand looks like its not even going to scar.  I mean that’s great and all, but you’d think you’d get an awesome convo starter out of something as crazy as gangrene.  What is the point of having a war wound otherwise?  O well.  Guess I still win the scar game.

On yet another note, I decided to comfort myself last night with a little Container Store therapy.  Not that I have a whole lot stressing me out these days (other than this most recent update with my Grandpa of course), but I am trying to learn to comfort myself more.  Dr.  Headshrinker wants me to learn how.  Nothing is more comforting than isles and isles of tiny boxes, labels and containers made specifically for one use and one use only.

I went with my favorite aunt which doubled the comfort satisfaction.  I had a list of things I needed.  We drooled over the Elfa® closet sets and dreamed of a day when our houses would look as if they were store displays.  I bought everything on my list and nothing else.  I guess in times of economic downturn, even a splurge has to have its limits.

Anyway, that’s my update.  Not so thrilling, but not super horrible.  Still waiting on Grandpa, better than Mark, and busy with organization projects brought on by retail therapy.

And…breath out…

I have great news.  (I never get to say that!)

My days as a hospital performer are about to end.  Mark is out and Grandpa is moved out of ICU to a regular bed.  Mark’s hand is still healing and I’m still nursing – although not really the kind I would like to be doing.  I haven’t been light headed cleaning out his wound in the last 4 days which I’m pretty sure means I’m almost a doctor now.  I’ve been hardened.

My Grandpa is able to stick out his tongue, say no, lift his arms and legs, grope nurses and be sarcastic.  Yes, these are all things I know can be normally associated with my daily life, but for my Gpa, its massive improvement.

With all this weight lifted off my shoulders, what ever is a girl to do with her spare time?  Take up knitting?  Fight crime?  Discover a cure for cancer?

I’ll probably just take a nap.

Am I the only one left with a brain around here???

Ahhh sigh.  Just another day here in craptastic land.

My Grandfather had a massive stroke this morning.  He’s in surgery right now to drain the clot.  I have been told that he can no longer speak, but is in very good spirits and still has a sense of humor (which of course causes me to have visions of a mime performing his best to a crowd of ER onlookers.  And then of course causes me to look up for the strike of lightening that is inevitably shooting down towards me.)

I’m at a loss here.  This is brand new territory for me.  All of my Grandparents are still alive.  I saw 3 of them – including the mime – on Sunday.  I am not sure what I should do.  Do I go down there?  Do I wait for an update?  The surgery is suppose to take several hours.  My Mom told me to wait.  Nothing feels like the right thing to do.  And I kinda feel like I’m already in the hole for that mime thing.

I guess that is why I’m turning to my blog.  My somewhat private, but rather completely public in every way, stream of consciousness.  Tell me what to do, blog.  Tell me.  I’m scared.

For someone special. Or everyone?

Is anyone as disappointed in me as I am?  Where the hell have I been lately?  Why no posts?  I mean Jesus.  Its not like rocket science right?  I should be punished.  O wait, I don’t get children.  Right.

I had an interesting observation yesterday at the store.  I had to pick up a birthday card for my Grandpa.  His 82nd birthday was yesterday and we spent the day with him today stuffing our faces at a buffet, trying to beat our personal best on calorie intake, and then wondering the halls of an old people’s hospital retirement community.  I think I hit my fill of old people for at least a month.  My toes can’t really take anymore of those walker wheels.

OK my observation.  Anyone else ever notice that there are hardly any Grandpa birthday cards?  Like, there was literally one at the store I was at.  One card.  And it was a sappy one.  You all know me right?  Sap is something that comes out of a tree.

There was an entire section of Grandma cards.  It even had a header label at the top of the row that said “For Grandma”.  But the Grandpa card was buried amongst the “for everyone” “from a group” and “for someone special” ‘s of the world.  At the bottom.

I know woman live longer than men but this is kinda ridiculous.  That doesn’t mean there are none of them out there.  I have two!  Does this mean I have to buy my other Grandpa this very same card in 12 days on his birthday?  Crap.  They live in the same retirement community.   Will they all forget that they’ve heard all this sap before?  I mean it is 12 days from now.  That’s like a lifetime to the memory of a senior.  Maybe it will just sound “familiar”.  Which will feel “comforting”.  Its almost as if I have no other choice but to buy this card for the sheer snugly word hug aspect.

Would have been smart to buy two at once.  Maybe I need to pick up some smart while I’m there next time.  I hear there’s a sale on it.  Economy.

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