I’m grumpy can anyone tell?

Hey guys.  World out there.  People I don’t know.  What’s up?

So ya know Mother’s day is comin up.  Yeah.  I know right?  How the heck did another whole year go by and not a single attempt to be a mom was accomplished?  Jesus.  Its so nice of us to have little reminders to help keep us well aware of our failures.

Mother’s day is a tough one for me this year.  Last year I wasn’t speaking to my family so I was able to just brush on by it like it didn’t even happen.  It was still a bit of a sting, but I got over it pretty quickly.  But this year?  Well this year my family wants to get together and have a big ole Mother’s day brunch.  And by brunch, I mean crapfest 09′ complete with all the Mom’s getting spacial treatment and all the non-Mom’s (me) doing all the work.  Its really just an excuse to point out that I am broken.  “Hey let’s call attention to the infertile and make her our slave!”  Fucking great.

Its not that I don’t think Mother’s deserve a special day or that my Mom shouldn’t get to have a lovely day where her daughters show her appreciation.  I absolutely do.  Its just that it doesn’t feel like that to me when I am asked to “host” the brunch, cook the brunch, clean up before an after the brunch, take the picture of all the Mom’s – because well I’m the only one that can’t be in the picture so I might as well take it, make sure all the Mom’s are happy, buy gifts and cards, and spoil the shit out of a bunch of woman who seem to have no regards for my feelings.  I fucking hate Mother’s Day this year.

They know now.  They know about my baby killing abilities.  They know I’m not just some hardened bitch who hates children.  Why continue to punish me as if I am?  I mean it was one thing when they didn’t know.  It sucked, but I couldn’t blame them.  But they do know now.    And to top it off, I have my fucktard of a husband and my dying Grandpa (who is still alive btw) to help enhance the crapness.

It would be nice if I could get just a little recognition for the insane level of effort I have put into being a Mom.  WAY more than any of them I might add.  I’ve spent as much as they did to raise me to adulthood before even having a child to impart all my wisdom on.  This is the time when a good husband would go buy me a special gift from Sandy and Monster.  Just to help me stay in perspective and make the day a little less full of shitness.  But that wont happen.  Which will just make me even more annoyed.  Which will just make me question why I’m even trying to work things out with him.  Which will just make me question everything in my life.  And well?  There’s pretty much nothing good that can come from that.


7 Responses to “I’m grumpy can anyone tell?”

  1. 1 mkwewer May 4, 2009 at 12:24 pm

    Stop the madness and say “no” and stick to it. I refuse to do Mother’s Day because no one wants to recognize the fact that while my twins died at 22 weeks, I’m still their Mother. I don’t think it’s fair and you shouldn’t have to do it.

  2. 2 Jendeis May 4, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    Sweetie, I’m so sorry about the pain that you’re going through right now. I wish that people would stop being absolute blockheads about IF. Why do we have to be the advocates/spokespeople over and over and over again? I love you, sending hugs.

  3. 3 Angie May 4, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    Don’t do it! What’s the worst they can do? Stop speaking to you?????

  4. 4 Rach May 4, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    Repeat after me….

    I will NOT host the Mothers Day brunch.

    I will NOT pander to the needs of all the “Mothers” on Mothers Day.

    I WILL make the day one of pampering and all things pure bliss.

    Send your Mum a card and some flowers, phone her in the morning and then make the rest of the day about YOU! Have a Champagne breaky, go to the movies, do ANYTHING that makes YOU feel good about yourself and takes your mind off what day it is.

    Do NOT, I repeat do NOT host the Mothers Day brunch….you will thank yourself for saying no afterwards.


  5. 5 Heather May 4, 2009 at 5:26 pm

    All I can say is, FUCK no. HELLS no. Seriously. Don’t do it. Don’t. Do. It. It pisses me off to no end that there is even an expectation that you should do this. Even if it’s a matter of coming down with the swine flu at the last minute, everyone else is right–you’ll thank yourself later.

  6. 6 christine May 4, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    Oh, HELL NO!!!!!


    Now, re-read what all the previous posters said. Did you do it? Good.

    Now, re-read all the comments again.

    Wash, rinse, repeat.

    Seriously, for the love of your sanity, do not do this.

  7. 7 Andie May 6, 2009 at 2:39 am

    I think the other comments pretty much have it right…go out and spoil yourself rotten. You deserve it.

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