Never engage in stupid conversation

Sorry.  I can’t let it go a whole day without me saying that Mark is, in fact, still a douche bag.  He’s gone off the deep end with his attitude and apparently worked it all out in his mind that I’m a horrible horrible person.  That’s right folks, I’m a nightmare to live with.  Not because of my insatiable need for order or my obsession with home design accompanied by a never ending list of projects.  Nope.  Apparently asking ones partner to participate in the union with words and expressions is unbearable. O the horror.

Years of pent up anger, resentment and frustration over any negative comment I’ve ever had was thrown back in my face today.  Complete with extra insults just to really make sure I’d feel it.  “You’re never happy”  “Nothing is ever good enough for you” “All you do is complain” “Everyone close to you has to be in therapy to deal with you”

O and the boy came prepared.  Any time it was pointed out that I couldn’t possibly be expected to read his mind and know all of this he was right there ready to throw up his armor and stonewall me.  Shut me out and say its the same conversation every time.  Umm wha?  Actually no.  I hate to be the one to point out the obvious here, but you haven’t ever barfed your angry innards out on me before.  This is all a new gross sensation I am not familiar with.   And well no, this couldn’t possibly be “yet another time I am explaining that I can’t read your mind” as doing so would have required me to actually have done that in the first place and would make my argument absolutely retarded.  Any chance Mr. Boy could see that maybe – just maybe – his behavior has had something to do with this?  Of course not.  I’m the nightmare remember?

How did Mark walking out on his wife and life become my fault again?  I’m definitely lost here.


2 Responses to “Never engage in stupid conversation”

  1. 1 b April 22, 2009 at 9:05 am

    Our next husband is going to be WAY better!

  2. 2 The Mother Hen April 22, 2009 at 9:44 am

    I read daily and I think that maybe I could offer some words of comfort, but really none come to mind. Most days I leave here saying nothing at all. The honest truth is he is ill and immature. He is in denial and his pride is standing between you two. Until he decides to acknowledge these facts, therapy isn’t going to do a damn bit of good. Any therapist worth their salt would point those things out and try to get him to work on them. I’m not in the room, so I have no clue what the therapist is actually saying, but it seems that Mark really needs some time alone with this therapist to work on things. Truthfully, even though you love the man you married, this guy isn’t him anymore. He may not ever be again and you will have to decide if you can stick around for this new version to get his shit together.
    My heart breaks for the situation you are in.

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