That boy aint right

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.  And a lot of crying.  And?  A lot of listening.

Listening isn’t something I expected to be doing, but it just so happens to be all I get to do.  Listening to stories about Mark going to clubs, Mark hanging out with drug addicts, Mark not talking with his sponsor in months, Mark lying to be about where he goes, what he does and who he’s with.  All the time.  Basically, I’ve been listening to all these lovely stories about this disgusting example of a man.  And wow.  Bonus.  I married him.

At first, him leaving seemed absolutely devastating.  And now?  Well now it feels like thank God.  Mark is so obviously sick.  Whether he’s drinking again, doing drugs, or just switching his addiction to lying, he’s sick.  I can’t fix him.  And I’ve really been through enough with him.

Out of respect for the fact that Mark never asked to be blogged about, I’ve refrained from discussing him as much as possible.  Although obviously by the amount of Mark talk on my blog, I clearly need to look up the word refrain.  I’ve tried to keep this blog about me.  Not Mark.  Not his alcoholism, depression, and anxiety disorder.  All things I have stuck by him through.  I supported his recovery.  I did whatever it took to make sure he was getting the care and love he needed.  I’ve pretty much been slammed against a wall.

Guess I’m gonna have to start shaving my legs and waxing my vagina again.


3 Responses to “That boy aint right”

  1. 1 Jessica April 10, 2009 at 5:19 pm

    You’re right, he can’t be fixed. You don’t need to go down with that particular ship.

    Take care of yourself.

  2. 3 The Mother Hen April 11, 2009 at 8:25 pm

    You couldn’t have known. He has hidden it very well. I’m just glad it is out now and you can hopefully move on from it. As an aside I hope you are heading to the Dr to make sure you are not at any risk from his behaviors.

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