You lying sack of food!

So…

Mark might have a brain tumor (which I choose not to buy in to for reasons of personal mental preservation).  He went for his MRI today.  They need to see how big it is and exactly where it is (which seems silly since I don’t believe that any such thing exists.  Silly Doctors.).  This tumor is what they feel is responsible for his awesome sterility. Let’s just stop right there since this is obviously not it and going into any sort of plans for treatment will be a waste of air.

While he conjured up all kinds of scary death deals with the grim reaper in that MRI tube, I comforted myself with a very large sugar cookie.  It told me it would be there for me.  It would hug me from the inside.

It didn’t.  Damn cookie lied to me.

Fucking lying food.  You can’t trust anything these days.

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10 Responses to “You lying sack of food!”


  1. 1 babysmiling March 2, 2009 at 8:22 pm

    The cookie must not have been big enough.

    And?!? MRI results???

    Hoping that it’s the non-dangerous, easily-repairable kind of tumor — I think those exist.

  2. 2 heidi March 2, 2009 at 8:45 pm

    I don’t know what to say. I cannot believe that cookie lied to you like that. How rude!

    I’ll be sitting here thinking good thoughts for the MRI results

  3. 3 anne nahm March 3, 2009 at 6:16 am

    Yikes! Thinking good thoughts for you both.

  4. 4 mkwewer March 3, 2009 at 7:13 am

    I will be thinking good thoughts for you!

  5. 5 M. March 3, 2009 at 9:29 am

    I know you’re not, but I’ve got to say here anyway: you’ve GOT to be kidding. A brain tumor. Girl, you can have your cookies, and mine too. Hoping to hear better news soon…((Babybound))

  6. 6 Courtney March 3, 2009 at 10:01 am

    I was hoping for an Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop, “It’s not a tumor” reference. Maybe you can use it when the results come back as all clear.

    All manner of well wishes headed your way (including but not limited to: crossing of fingers, making the Sign of the Cross, prayer).

  7. 7 Andie March 3, 2009 at 11:57 pm

    I really hope that Mark does not have a brain tumour. Thinking of you.

  8. 8 jsmith March 6, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    So I’ve been following your blog for quite some time now, but have never commented. This latest post left me with no choice. You consistently talk about everyone else in your life and their problems, and somehow figure out a way to make it about you. You come across as a very self absorbed person and someone who is so obsessed with the fact that she can’t have kids, that no one else is allowed to have life issues (ie – your grandpa may be dead in a day but you don’t like waiting).

    The post that really tickled me though was the post about the lying cookies. Here you are saying that your husband may have a brain tumor, but make snide comments like “silly doctors” and “plans for treatment will be a waste of air”. YOUR HUSBAND MAY HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR. What part of this do you not get? And still, you turn it around so that you are the victim and he gets no sympathy from you. This is the reason why YOU can’t have kids, not the reason why YOUR HUSBAND can’t have kids. You are not the only person in this world, in your marriage, in your family or at your job. Wishing evil on your coworkers baby shower because you’re jealous she’s having a child. Pathetic.

    Why haven’t you considered adoption? You’ve been putting yourself and your husband through all this for two long. If you had adopted, maybe you would be concerned with your husband’s tumor instead of laughing it off and wondering how to get a child out of the deal.

    Oh wait, I forgot how selfish you were, if you adopted you would still figure out a way to make it so that you were victimized somehow instead of realizing what a great life you could possibly provide an innocent child.

  9. 9 jsmith March 6, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    Oh, and try spell check once in a while. Thanks. =)

  10. 10 M. March 8, 2009 at 8:18 am

    Wow, jsmith–you’ve been reading awhile, but I have to wonder why you keep coming back? I know why I come back to read–the writer uses brilliant wit to talk about lots of not so easy things in life that she is dealing with. Many of the readers understand what its like to go through infertility, loss, depression, family dysfunction, etc. (Oh, and by the way, adoption is not a cure for infertility and all the emotional things that go along with it. Its not for everyone, and certainly not while still greiving multiple losses–go read up on it, ‘kay?) It certainly helps someone like me to read these posts about really hard things, and feel less alone with some of the similar things I’ve had to deal with. I for one, welcome the honesty and bravery it takes to put these things out there and do it in, yes, a HILARIOUS, but touching way.

    It really isn’t nice, while you’re pointing out others being not so nice, to kick another human being while they’re down.


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