A Presidential Puppy Proposition

Dear Mr. Obama,

So I hear you’re lookin for a puppy for the Whitehouse aye?  I got yer puppy right here:


Look at those guilty eyes.  Look at that “aww Mom!  But your bra tastes good!” expression.  Who wouldn’t love a mug like that?

OK OK.  I know what you’re thinkin.  “Is the Whitehouse too big?  Will I ever be able to catch her to remove rocks from her mouth?”  Listen.  I’m here to help you, O.  With some brief training in the 2 person you-run-that-way-and-I’ll-trap-her-under-the-table maneuver, you’ll be fine.    And incidentally, those rocks really do make fantastic wall art.  She sure has a gift for composition.

So anyway, O, no need to thank me.  I’m glad to help.  I mean after all, it seems like the least I can do.  You just let me know when you’ve hidden all the remote controls, put all shoes behind closed doors, removed any food from the counter tops – of every room – and secured all area rugs to the floor.  Oh oops.  Did I not mention the rugs earlier?

My bad.

Your loving dog giver supporter,


Happy Birthday Sandypants….now calm the fuck down already.  You’re 3.


4 Responses to “A Presidential Puppy Proposition”

  1. 1 meg November 6, 2008 at 12:07 pm

    You will love the movie Marley and Me when it comes out 🙂

  2. 2 babysmiling November 6, 2008 at 9:40 pm

    Happy Birthday to your pup! Extra rocks for her today.

  3. 3 goldfish5 November 7, 2008 at 9:06 am

    Happy B day Sandy. I have told your mommy that if she’ll feed you twinkies, you’ll be too fat to run. She got mad at me Sandy..but I tried girlfriend.

  4. 4 mkwewer November 7, 2008 at 9:49 am

    First, cute doggie! Second, calm down at 3? Ha! My English Setter did his best work at 3. One remote control, 1 pair of Italian leather slingbacks, 1 pair of wedge cork sandals, countless pairs of slippers and DVDs – OMG – did he love to chew DVD cases. He’s 4 now and only chews doggie appropriate items – like the cat. Good luck.

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