And there it was

My life.  Flashed before my eyes.

Therapy was boring/fucking hard today.  Dr. Shrinking Head asked both of us to think of something that the other person doesn’t know about because of our umm, sabbatical.  After narrowing that down to a short list of 8,000 things – from just the last 3 months – she wanted to have share time.

I let me mother go first.  Frankly, I figured she had only one thing and I’d most likely already know what it was because of Perfect Aunt.  She told me about her heart problems.  That she has had a few chest pain incidents in the last year and that she is having tests done tomorrow.  (A story she had actually just shared with me moments before our session so in a way, I was kinda right.  I did know).

My turn.

Should I tell her I kill babies?  My uterus is racist against babies?  I had sex in her bed in high school?  With my boyfriend’s brother?  (o…too much?)

I settled on telling her all about my year of husband drama.  About his brain problems and scary homeless man impersonations.  My birthday.  His medication mishaps.  All of it.

While I know this is my life.  And I’ve basically lived it.  It was hard to hear it out loud.  Even harder with a wide eyed, jaw dropped woman staring at me.  Her only response was “how did you cope with that without your family?”  Ahhhh the laughs I had in my head.  That?  Please.  A husband with a silly little disease like bipolar?  O if you only knew you silly silly little woman.

Not ready to tell her the real drama.  Nope.  Not yet.  Er…or ever.


1 Response to “And there it was”

  1. 1 goldfish5 October 17, 2008 at 6:34 am

    Interesting comment that one..”how did you cope without your family?” Did a lightbulb go off over her head when she realized that you are fucking tough as nails..and that rather than deal with their shit and went it alone? Did she realize what that really says about the way you perceive their “support”?

    Sorry yesterday was hard. I hope that today is better.

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