I’m thinking about sendin her to that farm.

Sandy ate my sunglasses today. Wait, let me rephrase that. Sandy ate my $200 sunglasses today.

My guess is she used them to help digest the small container of odor neutralizer she polished off yesterday. From the looks of the garage (cue visions of squirts all over the floor), her insides weren’t really feelin all that odorific. Come to think of it, we coulda used that stuff in the garage. Damn.

I’m pretty much pissed. Why is it that my dog is so damn untrainable? She’s almost 3 now and not even close to domesticated. Every day is something. The remote. My bra. A butcher knife. You’d think we were the worst parents ever. Maybe we are? No. We’re not. We have no problem disciplining our dog. None whatsoever. We have a shock collar. We don’t give in. We don’t get lazy. We patiently wait for her to get it. She does get it. She truly knows the difference between right and wrong. She just chooses wrong 90% of the time.

And now my eyeballs are going to burn in the sun. Shrivel up into gross little eyeball raisins. Rendering them useless.

Fuck man.


5 Responses to “I’m thinking about sendin her to that farm.”

  1. 1 b August 24, 2008 at 9:22 pm

    You have read Marley and Me..right? Wow, almost 3 and still acts like that….hmm..Honey chilled out pretty much completely by 2. Well, at least we haven’t had to replace this dining room table because she’s eaten it..like the last one. Labs are great dogs..they just have a very long adolescence. Sorry about your sunglasses. : ( She loves you though.

  2. 2 Angie August 25, 2008 at 12:10 am

    At least she poops in the garage. I have a mini-english bulldog who finds it acceptable to poop in his own kennel. What the heck kind of animal poops where they sleep? Isn’t that against animal code or something?


    Sorry about your glasses, but don’t worry: If your eyes do shrivel into raisins, at least you won’t have to look at the poop any more.



  3. 3 mkwewer August 25, 2008 at 5:57 am

    Aren’t dogs fun? My English Setter used to have such bad separation anxiety that he ate a remote, steak knives and a Rachael Ray cookbook. The last straw was my Italian leather pumps. He outgrew it with some training but he was about 18 months old when he outgrew it…good luck….

  4. 4 meg August 25, 2008 at 7:03 pm

    man that sucks….and yes Marley and Me kinda reminds me of that! But yes, like B says, she does love you!

  1. 1 R.I.P. Baby. You will be missed « B a b y B o u n d Trackback on November 23, 2008 at 5:08 pm

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