I’m pretty sure baths aren’t suppose to be hairy.

So, I kinda just took a bad bath. I know what yer thinkin. Wha? How is it possible to take a bad bath? Well, let me set the scene:

Me. Brand new whirlpool tub. Fantastically hilarious new book B sent me. Super cold glass of Pino. Hot – and I mean hot – water.

O yeah. that’s the good part. Sorry bought that. Here’s the bad bath part:

Me. Hot water. Way too fucking hot water. Water that turned my entire body bright red. A razor. Really hairy legs followed by really hairy water. Did I mention that it was bloody hot?

I tried. I tried as long as I could. As I sat there reading my book – the one that B sent me – I noticed sweat beeding up on my chest and drizzling down…well, my chest. Then I noticed hair. Hair floating around the water. O my fucking God that is gross. There is absolutely nothing “relaxing” about marinating in hairy water.

So after shooting straight up and hitting the ceiling at break neck speed, I just gave up. I took my bright ass red body out of the tub, lathered on the lotion and fell into a deep heat coma. While I’m feeling pretty darn relaxed at this point, my brain is feeling AHHHHHH O MY FUCKING GOD THAT WAS DISGUSTING YOU WERE FLOATING IN A POOL OF HAIRY WATER AHHHHHHH. Its interesting. I don’t recommend it. Not even a little bit.

UPDATE:  OMG I am a horrible person.  Like really really horrible person.  As I mentioned before, my friend B gave me a book.  But umm, what I failed to mention was that B AND K gave me this book.  In a lovely care package that meant the world to me.  And sadly, I didn’t give K the credit that she deserved.  I suck.  I’m bad.  And I basically deserve to die in a fire.  K, I am sorry.  You had just as much to do with my book and bad bath as B.  I’ll think only lovely thoughts about you as I read it and blame B for the hairy bath.  Will that at least set us on the right path to forgiveness?

Advertisements

8 Responses to “I’m pretty sure baths aren’t suppose to be hairy.”


  1. 1 b June 16, 2008 at 9:17 pm

    So, you read my book..AND you took a bath? DAMNIT…I knew something was off tonight..the world just felt…different..you know? Obviously you do not take many baths (i mean you usually shower..not being ugly…this time) but when you’re gonna shave in the bath tub, you have to leave the water running, and the plug out. This way, when you’re done shaving..you have a nice tub full of clean water to lay back and read my book in. I am such a helper.

  2. 2 mycowgirlalterego June 17, 2008 at 1:17 pm

    Funny, I remember decorating the box, and shopping, and well, sending it to you TOO!

    I never get any credit.

    And stay out of hairy water. It’s yucky.

  3. 3 mycowgirlalterego June 17, 2008 at 1:17 pm

    Funny, I remember decorating the box, and shopping, and well, sending it to you TOO!

    I never get any credit.

    And stay out of hairy water. It’s yucky.

  4. 4 mycowgirlalterego June 17, 2008 at 4:11 pm

    bwwwaaaahaaaaa!

    like i really cared!

    ok. one hairy bath as penance.

  5. 5 b June 17, 2008 at 10:06 pm

    Hey! That’s not cool.

  6. 6 The mother hen June 17, 2008 at 10:14 pm

    I always shave in the shower then run a bath. I hate hairy water and I hate cleaning that ring of hair from the tub after my bath YUCK!!

  7. 8 meg June 23, 2008 at 7:13 am

    I hate HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




I'm just a girl with a husband, a dog, a cat, and a bum uterus. Add to Technorati Favorites

These seem to be pretty popular

Archives


%d bloggers like this: