Deserving of all kinds of detension

Have I mentioned that I’m talking to Dr. Baby Maker tomorrow?  Yeah?  Well, something aint right with me.  In fact, I’m downright stupid and not in the normal BabyBound’s-on-the-sauce way.

Dr. Baby Maker had requested that we have all our records sent over, all our paperwork filled out and a whole new batch of blood work done by 2pm today so that she would be nicely prepared for our conversation tomorrow.  A little history lesson so we could start out the conversation with a big ol round of “holy crap your totally fucked up”s.

Records sent?  Check

Paperwork sent?  Check – but only after forgetting until 2pm today and saying “wasn’t I suppose to do something today?” and scrambling to finish.

Blood work drawn?  Wha?

I am not this kid in school.  I don’t wait until the last second.  I do my homework the minute I get it.  I pay bills when they arrive (ok no I don’t but I think about it).  I do as I’m told and always make sure I’m prepared.  Always.  WTF Kat?  Why so late on the baby train?  Why is this not the most important thing in the whole wide world??? Why have you not dropped everything else to focus 100% on nothing more then what it will take to get Dr. Baby Maker on board with project:baby???!!!

Am I just not ready for this?  Am I blocking it out for some reason?  Its stressin me out that I’m this stupid.  That I have not prepared.  That I’m sure my files are not labeled correctly.  That somehow mine will be switched with Mrs. Cooper – mother of 60 – and Dr. Baby Maker is going to tell me to stop bothering her with my silly antics because clearly I know what I’m doing.  Then possibly ask if I’ve considered contraception?  God I don’t need that kind of questioning at a time like this.

I’m not even shooting up yet and I’m all crazy.  I’m not sure I’m ready to get all drugged out of my gourd again.  But I am.  But I’m not.  Adoption is starting to sound pretty darn appealing.  But no.  I could be pregnant during the holidays.  But ugh I could be pregnant during the holidays.  Would I even be a good mother anyways?  Where will the baby sleep?  But I just finished decorating the guest room.  I want to have a beachy cute baby room.  Will I be talking to my parents?  I want my baby to have a good life.  How will I save for college when I just spent all my money on a house?  O God, the kid is going to be stupid because of me.

See?  This chick is crazy yo.


3 Responses to “Deserving of all kinds of detension”

  1. 1 b May 27, 2008 at 5:06 pm

    Maybe this is a sign that you should just sit back, RELAX, and let this happen. Okay, you can’t relax completely while going the IVF route..but you’ve got to learn to let go a little bit. Noone is ever ready for IVF. Noone.

  2. 2 meg May 28, 2008 at 8:15 am

    You sound like you have a million things running through your mind. I was there when I did IVF too… and I think most of us feel pretty similar. It will all work out… Good luck at your appt!!!!

  3. 3 Baby R August 3, 2008 at 10:24 pm

    Thanks for the information. Me this theme too interests. I shall read still.

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