You’ll never eat strawberries again…sorry

OK so I made it.  And damn it if I don’t have one set of balls for braving the snow storm without a jacket.  I walked away with nothing more then a cold.  Well, a cold and just about the heaviest most disgusting period this side of the Mississippi.  Yeah.  I’m talkin girly nasty stuff so any (if any) and all readers with real balls may discontinue your subscription to BabyBound for this one post without penalty.

I really feel compelled to share my bloody mass as its kinda freakin me out and I’m hoping for some lovely comments in the area of “o don’t worry that happened to me once.  I totally soaked through 2 pads and a heavy flow tampon in less then 2 hours all day and night for 3 days straight followed by 1 lightish day and then never left the toilet for 2 hours while the rest of my reproductive system made a run for it”.  Please?  Anyone?

For the last 5 days I’ve gone through every pare of undies I own and expelled at least a gallon of goop.  That’s right.  Goop.  Clots galore.  Anyone in the market for some creepy Halloween horror props can sidle up to the BabyBound period bar.  I can definitely accommodate you.  No need to hurry.  Trust me.  There’s plenty to go around.

What the hell Flo?  I have been so good to you.  No baby meds.  No testing.  Not even one single obsessive egg thought.  So why is it that I am expelling more innards now then I did when squirting out 2 babies?  If I didn’t know any better, I’d think I might possibly be giving birth to them all over again?  First I beg for you, now I plead for you to find another womb to camp out in.  Can’t we just learn to live together in harmony?

I’m going to call Doc first thing in the morning and get in as soon as I can so anyone ready to tell me to do so can save your fingers.  I swear my entire baby house has been peed out my vagina by now and we’re working on my lower intestines.  If this keeps up, I’ll be a shell with nothing left on the inside but some fat.  Cause you know the fat will stick around.  That lazy fucker wouldn’t dare just leave.

Please someone tell me they have squirted out clots the size of a large strawberry before.  You have right?


12 Responses to “You’ll never eat strawberries again…sorry”

  1. 1 dayzofrain April 13, 2008 at 8:23 pm

    I have. As recently as just four days ago. It is rather gross.. it wasn’t even *that* bloody.. just a little…so it was like a soft pink color.

    it was gross… I understand your issue

  2. 2 Emily April 13, 2008 at 9:09 pm

    I have … in fact, the last pd before the lu.pron injections began. It was horrible. And I’m very much feeling bad for you, cause it hurt like a MF’er, too.

    Yes. Good plan about the Doc. Keep us posted!

  3. 3 Heather April 13, 2008 at 11:50 pm

    You have such a *great* way with words! God, how I love reading your posts! Yes, I just finished a period like that. Well, not quite, but close. So I can relate. Oh, and I sincerely apologize for the crappy weather of my “fair” city, Denver–and DIA is definitely the worst airport known to (wo)man. I’m sorry your visit was so awful. I’ve been meaning to tell you that.

  4. 4 Heidi April 14, 2008 at 4:39 am

    I haven’t been blessed with this experience, and prefer not to, so if you are contagious, please let us know!!

    Sorry, just trying to make you smile 🙂

  5. 5 anne nahm April 14, 2008 at 5:46 am

    Let us know what the doc says. I’ve had a few doozie periods, but nothing (so far, anyway – knock wood) that involved giving birth to Strawberry Shortcake.

  6. 6 Erin April 14, 2008 at 7:06 am

    in the past, I’ve had clots the size of my fist. I kid you not. It was disturbing to say the least.

  7. 7 Ahuva Batya April 14, 2008 at 7:49 am

    Yes, I have. For no apparent reason, I had a horribly heavy, painful, never-ending, clot-producing period. That’s just the way it was, and eventually I moved on to my more normal periods. I guess sometimes our cycles are just… weird.

  8. 8 b April 14, 2008 at 8:12 am

    Nope, nothing like that. Have you thought about calling the doctor? HA!! Just kidding. NO, but seriously..let me know what they say.

  9. 9 mycowgirlalterego April 14, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    Well, this is probably TMI, but when I was 17 and diagnosed with PCOS, my doc put me on the pill to help regulate my cycles. I had a week long, wear double pads (one on each side), change every hour, pass fist sized clots period after the pill. It was horrible, and I thought I was going to bleed to death. I didn’t, and haven’t done that since, but stays in my brain. Glad you are going to the doc.

  10. 10 geohde April 15, 2008 at 3:44 pm

    Yeah, been there. Spent several years like that and bleeding at random, to boot.


  11. 11 eDITH May 13, 2011 at 8:53 am

    You’re gross. What has this got to not eating strawberries never again? You needed not to be so nasty mouthed while on the web for people not wanting to hear about your problems. You all have a very nasty mouth.

  1. 1 Mommy what’s a period? « B a b y B o u n d Trackback on August 14, 2009 at 12:20 am

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