Ooooo boy

I got a lovely phone call this morning.  Actually, I’m not even being sarcastic for once.  (but don’t get used to it)

My Grandma called this morning.  I absolutely love my Grandma and talk to her as often as possible.  Every time she calls me it makes me happy. Not today my friends.  Not.  Today.

First, we chatted about her life.  Things are really lookin up for G and I couldn’t be happier.  The good news was flyin like pigs in the sky.  Wait.  No not pigs.  Elephants?  No.  Birds.  Yes birds.  That was what I was looking for.  All was good.

Then we got to the real reason for her phone call.  See, one of my dimwit cousins finally graduated from high school.  She’s 20 but that’s beside the point right?  Yeah no, I didn’t think so either.  But whatever, I guess she’s turned her life around.  Good for her.  Everyone is thrilled – even though she and her parents had them believing she was attending “college classes” for the last 2 years.  My family is a little odd when it comes to pulling of wool over one’s eyes.  For them, the details don’t matter.

Anyway, G wants Mark and I to attend the graduation party that my aunt is throwing.  An aunt that Mark and I have major issues with due to her gigantic alcoholism problem and complete lack of respect for anyone that isn’t wasted.  The answer is obviously hell to the no.  Between my lovely parents, my fucktard sister, and the host being black out drunk before we get there, this party sounds like the craptacular shitstorm of the century.   I have absolutely no intention of attending such a shin dig.  In fact, I’d be shocked if we were even invited.

G wasn’t havin it.  There was begging.  There was groveling.  There was “please do it for K (my high school drop out cousin). I know it would mean a lot to her.”  Yeeahhh  last I checked, K didn’t give a shit about anything the family did.  She was knee deep in a keg and judging every move everyone else made.  We are all losers after all.  My guess is she’d hardly notice us.

G feels that the whole family should just swallow their pride for one day and all get together for K.  WTF?  Really??  Why?  What the fuck has she done for me?  And why the hell is a bunch of seething people gathered in a room none of them want to be in helpful?  Sounds like a big selfish waste of time to me folks.

My thought is, if my family wants to use this waste of air event as a catalyst to getting their shit together, go for it.  But leave me out of it.

Sorry G.  I love you bunches, but this time I aint budgen.


4 Responses to “Ooooo boy”

  1. 1 b March 29, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    whoa! G-Money bettah slow her roll! Under NO circumstances should you attend this event. This is the aunt you told me about, yes? Umm..yeah…that’s like being on your period and jumping into shark infested waters. FUCK THAT sistah! Tell them that you’re having a labotomy that day..can’t possibly make it…you’ve been looking forward to it for months!

  2. 2 geohde March 29, 2008 at 10:52 pm


    Can choose your friends, but not your relatives,


  3. 3 meg March 30, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    Good for you for standing up for yourself!

  4. 4 mycowgirlalterego March 30, 2008 at 7:35 pm

    Run. Run very fast. I think they have big, blood sucking teeth.

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