Carbonated tomatoes

Yesterday I ate a sandwich that had rotten tomatoes on it. I had 2 bites of these nondelicious little red gems before I realized that they were in fact, sour. They tasted carbonated? Do perishable items develop CO2 as they age?

Before coffee houses became huge and could be found on every single corner of every single street in America, where did Alcoholics meet with their sponsors?

Why do we all put lemon in our water instead of orange? I mean orange is far sweeter and nicer, so why is that not the norm?

Why are orchids so damn hard to keep alive? Has anyone ever actually seen one bloom more then the one time they were bloomed when you picked it up from the store?

If dreaming of water is somehow sexual, and dreaming of your teeth falling out means your lieing, what does dreaming that your teeth melted in a bowl of water mean?

Where do the old toilets that get ripped out of houses that are being remodeled end up? Landfill? Really? Its a freakin toilet!

Why has nobody actually written the mommy handbook yet?

How come we all use frozen peas on a swollen limb but never frozen corn or frozen carrots? Is there something about peas specifically that we like? Is it cause they’re green?

If glass is never solid…and continues to drip down verrrrry slowwwwly over time (its true), then how come it doesn’t wipe away with a damp cloth or we can’t smoosh it?

When is being fat gonna be considered a sign of wealth and success again?

When am I going to have a baby? (O common, you knew this was coming didn’t you)


8 Responses to “Carbonated tomatoes”

  1. 1 milkmaid79 March 28, 2008 at 6:11 am

    1- Fermentation or rotting produces gas, just ask that dead skunk that went whoooosh-pop when I rehit it this morning…
    2- In bars
    3- Expense of lemons vs. oranges (you could totally start a trend though)
    4- And I thought I was the only orchid killer
    5- It means you lied about a b.j.
    6- In the front yard (if you live in the south)
    7- Um, working on the manuscript currently
    8- Hello- people actually eat the other stuff!
    9- I’m sure that if we moved very quickly (almost super sonic) that the wiping away glass thing would happen.
    10- I vote NOW
    11- You will have a baby approximately 9 months after you conceive one! (O come on, you know I had to 😛 )

  2. 2 AJ March 28, 2008 at 6:40 am

    And I thought I was the only orchid killer.

  3. 3 b March 28, 2008 at 7:25 am

    If you swallow your gum, when you poop..would your butt be minty fresh?

  4. 4 babybound March 28, 2008 at 7:55 am

    My butt IS minty fresh B. Always has been. Always will be.

  5. 5 b March 28, 2008 at 8:28 am

    Please don’t tell me that you used the scratch ‘n’ sniff test to discover this fun fact!

  6. 6 singletracey March 28, 2008 at 9:05 am

    LOVE IT.. I never knew that about glass and as for fat becoming a sign of wealth.. lets bring that one back in style ASAP!!

    Happy Weekend.. hope the weather in SF will be FAB this weekend!!

  7. 7 lazyppod March 28, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    I like MM’s answers.

    Just wanted to say that my Mom and Pop will happily adopt you. In.a.hearbeat.
    only thing is you have to visit them every weekend. And when you don’t you have to listen to Mom whine. And you don’t get cheese with it.


  8. 8 my cowgirl alter-ego March 28, 2008 at 6:14 pm

    um, were you drinking at lunch? one of those fru-fru umbrella drinks? yea, i thought so.

    love you!

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