What would I do?

I was imprisoned in a convo about JLo and her new IVF baby twins today when the subject of privacy rights vs. lying to the public came up. Is it really lying when you are in the celebrity spotlight and you don’t want the world to know that you are broken?

As the closeted expert on the subject, I humbly listened to the lovely ignorance ping ponging around the room.  People are really so stupid sometimes.  Of course they all had expert advice.  I mean anyone with a uterus knows exactly what being infertile feels like right?  Yeah fucking right.  Gold medals for all…

Then out of nowhere, I was hit by the crossfire.

“Kat, what would you do if you couldn’t have children and you were a celebrity and had to do IVF?  Would you admit it?”

Dude.  Really?  IF?  Ahhh the laughs that were crowding my head.

I mean my answer would have to be:

“Well of course I wouldn’t tell.  I’d totally lie.  I don’t even tell my own damn family that I’m even TTC or that I’ve been trying for over 3 years or that I’ve killed fetuses.  If I was, in fact, under the watchful eye of the media, I’d just cover it up by going completely nuts like Britney – which isn’t too hard to do on IVF meds – and run around like a crazy person then show up with a kid someday.  People might wonder for a minute, but surely Paris or Lindsey would do something to distract them.  Lying is absolutely the course of action here.”

But of course, I needed to fit in so my real answer was:

“I think anyone that lies about makin babies is retarded.  Makin babies isn’t so hard.  You just do it.  How hard is that?  Obviously they were doin it wrong.  Maybe they just needed a vacation or something.  God, why didn’t she just relax.  If you have to lie about it then obviously you have low self esteem.”

Don’t you just love IVF?  Its totally fierce.


7 Responses to “What would I do?”

  1. 1 mycowgirlalterego March 20, 2008 at 8:32 pm

    I’m so out about my lack of fertility at work, it’s scary. I’m now that infertile, baby-losing lesbian. Whateva. But some days I wish no one knew…

    (btw.. i tagged you, i tagged you! ha ha!)

  2. 2 mycowgirlalterego March 20, 2008 at 8:35 pm

    And, did I mention I clearly live my life by asking myself, “What would Kat do?” WWKD … it’s the in thing to do!

  3. 3 geohde March 21, 2008 at 12:18 am

    I always thought I’d be completely open about my IVF when I crossed over to the p-word side. But I find myself not really wanting to tell complete strangers about it, and I don’t. So I understand the fibs, I think.


  4. 4 katarinajellybeana March 21, 2008 at 6:46 am

    I’ve always thought of more as a hot mess.

  5. 5 b March 21, 2008 at 8:12 am

    You can out Mark but not yourself? Hmm, I think I need to talk to Mark about this.

  6. 6 Emily March 21, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    Totally fierce … (love the Project Runway phrase!)
    I’m pretty much outed by my family anyway. I don’t think those other relatives know about the one frozen embie that died though. Hmm … wonder what reactions I’d get to that?!

  7. 7 milkmaid79 March 21, 2008 at 1:54 pm

    How the hell did I miss this post? Anyways… Lie, lie, fib, fib, go nuts, lather, rinse, repeat. Works so far, huh?

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