Nothing good came out of yesterday.  Nothing positive has come out of today.  Mark is still gone.  He has been delightfully checking in with everyone else but me.  He hates me, btw.

This blog is my blog.  Not a place to talk shit about Mark.  But in a nutshell, Mark quit drinking because it was a problem for him.  While everyone knows you have to do that for yourself, Mark chose to do it for me.  Now.  Sober Mark has grown rather resentful of me and blown a gasket.   All of his frustration about not being able to drink anymore have manifested themselves into a giant ball of hatred of babybound.

Don’t misunderstand.  Mark is not a bad person.  I love Mark more then anything in the world.   He’s a fantastic person with a horrible problem.  Everyone has problems.  Mark drinks.  I kill children in my womb.  You know.  Problems.

Its been a rough road for Mark, but he has certainly been working at it.  Anyone picturing a trailer, lazy boy, old english, wife beater, and roaches…common.  really?  Rough, but still productive.  I guess that something recently has triggered Mark and relapse ensued.  It clearly explains the horrible birthday planning and frustrating conversations.  It can be fixed.  It will be fixed.  I know we will be ok.  Maybe my birthday can have a do over?  No.  Probably not.

I really hope this can get better soon though.  I’m wasting away to nothing with all this adrenalin rushing and anxiety puking.  Its like I’m the new Nicole Richie.  The skinny one.  Not the pregnant one.  Although?….damn.


8 Responses to “Nothing”

  1. 1 laura January 16, 2008 at 10:16 pm

    sorry your birthday sucked so royally. thinking of you.

  2. 2 Shinezhil January 17, 2008 at 6:38 am

    I sorry, too, that this shit is happening to you! I hope things do indeed work out.

  3. 3 b January 17, 2008 at 8:08 am

    You two will get through this, absolutely. Sorry the situation is sucking royal ass right now though. I wish I could make this better for you.

  4. 4 ethansmama January 17, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    Wanna come take a trip to Houston?? We are all converging on B & K March 7-9. Let me know, I will email you the details. I think you need a break.

  5. 5 Orodemniades January 17, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    I wish you the best of luck.

  6. 6 meg January 17, 2008 at 6:17 pm

    I hope things get better.

  7. 7 milkmaid79 January 17, 2008 at 8:12 pm

    Thinking about you… all day actually. Do I need to fly to San Fran and give you a tickle? Or perhaps something heavier?

  8. 8 geohde January 18, 2008 at 1:53 am

    Oh, I am so sorry. Please look after yourself, that all sounds so very stressful.

    Hoping things improve soon,



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