My gift to you

Yes. Today is my Birthday. Today I am a strapping 33 year old. I grow up so fast.

Since God, the universe and Mark have all conspired to make this birthday a birthday of crap I will never forget, I figured that rather then sitting around sad that I am not getting anything celebratory today, I’d throw out a gift to all of you.

That’s right folks. My gift to you is as follows:

Moving forward. For the rest of your lives. And most likely throughout most of your history. None of you will ever again feel that your birthdays suck.

How is this possible you ask?? How can one foxy lady pull off such a stunt?

Well. Follow me through the doors leading to hell. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you all safely behind the red ropes as you are all just visitors.

I. BabyBound. Am having the worst birthday in all of history. Nothing any of you ever face in the future will come close to this perfect storm of horribleness. So therefore at the first inkling of trouble, you can always look back fondly of the BabyBound Birthday disaster of 08′ and feel revitalized. Its all about perspective and I have just thrown the curve. How is this so?

I came home last night to a drunken Mark (a man that stopped drinking). This new drunken version, Mark 2.0, packed about 20 t-shirts into his computer bag (because clearly its summer here) and headed out the front door. Gone.

I woke up this morning to no signs of Mark. No messages. Nothing. He is just gone.

I then got an unbelievable phone call from my mother (for my Birthday) in which she seems to live on a different planet from the rest of us and has been on a jolly for the last 4 months. It was rude. Strange. And hurtful.  Nothing nice about it although it is the first time she’s even acknowledged my existence in a 3rd of a year.

I am now at work. A place that no one in my condition should be but why the fuck not. I have nothing better to do.  No family.  No husband.  No baby.  No life.

Can I see a show of hands for all the ladies out there that had there husbands leave them on their birthday? No? Anyone?

You’re all welcome.


16 Responses to “My gift to you”

  1. 1 celebrate woo-woo January 15, 2008 at 11:57 am

    That is definitely the worst birthday I’ve heard about. I’m so sorry, and I won’t even bother to wish you anything happy today because nothing could make that hurt less.

  2. 2 meg January 15, 2008 at 11:57 am

    I am so sorry. I sure do hope the day shapes up a bit.

  3. 3 b January 15, 2008 at 11:58 am

    Holy Fucking Shit. God Damn. What the FUCK is he thinking? Have you still not heard anything from him? Please contact me if you just need to talk or want someone to listen to you cry..or scream..


  4. 4 katarinajellybeana January 15, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    I second the outraged “WHAT THE FUCK IS HE THINKING?”s

    I’m so sorry honey. I wish I could do something.

    (happy birthday)

  5. 5 milkmaid79 January 15, 2008 at 12:07 pm

    Fuck him- as hard as it all is (and let me tell you it blows), YOU are so much better than that and you deserve so much more. Seariously- if you need a shoulder to cry on let me know.

  6. 6 kittenroar5 January 15, 2008 at 12:11 pm

    WT? This horribly unfair. I have nothing useful to say, but I’m sending every healing vibe I know how.

  7. 7 lazyppod January 15, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    I am so sorry…Yes, I would say your birthday would top all other bad birthdays and that just plain sux.
    I’m sorry. I think you need to make a trip to Houston and we will celebrate your birthday here…

    What is he thinking? And what was your Mom thinking?

  8. 9 anne nahm January 15, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    Holy shit! You win hands down. I was not expecting that to happen at all. Take care – I mean, I don’t think a bubble bath and some ice cream is going to make this better. But whatever you can do to be gentle to yourself, do it. Thinking good thoughts for you.

  9. 10 Almamay January 15, 2008 at 6:27 pm

    I’ve had birthdays like this. My DH has also done the same thing and a mother who forgot my 21st birthday. It does get better. Wishing you, “Happy Birthday” from London.

  10. 11 Erin January 15, 2008 at 8:11 pm

    Holy Shit. What the fuck was he thinking? (I believe this was said above already, but seriously!??!!)

    If my DH did that to me, the next time I saw him I would punch him in the nuts. No questions asked… just as hard as I could.

    Hugs to you.

  11. 12 perchancetodream January 16, 2008 at 6:50 am

    I know that there is nothing I can say to take the pain away. But I’m sorry and hopefully the year can only get better for you from here.

  12. 13 Kathy V January 16, 2008 at 11:39 am

    There are no words to describe what you must be feeling a the moment. I am so sorry that dh is a big jerk. All I can say is I hope your Day Today is better than yesterday.

  13. 14 Carrie January 16, 2008 at 12:48 pm

    I’m so sorry you had such a shitty day. Birthday or not.

  14. 15 Mel January 16, 2008 at 2:38 pm

    I am so sorry that this birthday has sucked so hard. Singing happy birthday feels a little inappropriate in the moment, no?

  1. 1 B a b y B o u n d Trackback on September 9, 2008 at 7:41 pm

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