Polished to perfection

B, this post is not for you.  Move along.  Nothing to see here.

For the rest of the world wide web uninhibited by the unbathed, there is simply nothing better then spending the day cleaning the crap out of your house and getting so disgustingly dirty that you are offended by your own stench followed by showering.  I think this is one of my favorite things.  Not that I like the dirty part.  No that I am not all that fond of, but the super hot shower that follows keeps me going.  Yesterday this is exactly what I did.

I scrubbed this place from top to bottom.  See, our housekeeper has been taken hostage by a tribe of lions in need of a new motherly figure to look out for them.  Sadly, it all happened so fast she was unable to say goodbye.  Nether a word of explanation was uttered on her behalf.  Let’s all say a little prayer for Consuelo…ok that’s enough.  She still owes us a key.

After about 4 solid hours of cleaning – because I’m anal people.  Not because we’re that gross – my face had sweat so much that the salt had started forming under my eyes.  Ew yes, but wow what a shower’s dream I was.  I got in that shower – spit shined to perfection – set that temperature at a comfortable 900 degrees, washed and exfoliated every orifice of my body, relaxed in the steam, got out and moisturized my whole body, put on clean soft clothes and wooeeee.  Heaven.

Absolutely nothing beats that.

I think I can see those animated sparkles you see in cartoons blanketing every corner of my house.  Sorry about the lions, Consuelo, but I think I might be better at your job.  Damn that’s like a one two punch for you.  Ouch.

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3 Responses to “Polished to perfection”


  1. 1 katarinajellybeana January 14, 2008 at 7:06 am

    As bad as I am at keeping the house clean, I LOOOOVVVEEE that feeling of a perfectly clean house. And the smug sense of accomplishment. Yeah…that’s good too.

  2. 2 b January 14, 2008 at 8:01 am

    You knew I was going to read this. Would it kill you to shower before cleaning the house? SHEESH!! I’m sending you hand sanitizer and shower gel for your birthday.

  3. 3 meg January 14, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    Are you available for scrubbing at my house?


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