The house is not the park.

Dearest Sandy,

I love you and all, but do you really have to take up questionable new hobbies every few months or so?  This latest one has really got your father and I mad as all get out.  Randomly pooping by the front door in the middle of the night is really disgusting and rather un lady like of you.  Where is this coming from?  Do you need more attention?  Sista, there are far better ways to go about it.

Is it because of the tree?  I know its weird that we have brought a giant representation of nature into the family room, but I assure you, this is totally normal.  Lot’s of people do it this time of year.  Don’t worry, S, we’ll take it down in a week or so and get back to living inside and leaving nature outside.  Will that help?

Does the fact that Consuelo hasn’t shown up for work for the entire month of Dec. (which has gotten her fired for anyone interested in some cleaning employment) so our house looks like a dirty park have any barring on this new habit?  Factor in what looks like giant piles of paper thrown under the park tree to you and I get it, S.  I totally get it.  You are confusing the house with the park.

Sandy, the house is not the park.

What if I take out the vacuum?  You know this is really showing my willingness to work with you on this one. I’m dedicated finding any solution that will work for both of us.  So, vacuuming then?  Consider it done.

Whatever it takes, S.  What. Ever. It. Takes.  I just want us to get past this and move on to the next really horribly annoying habit you decide to pick up.  I hear Mark might be getting a fresh batch of socks for Christmas.  Perhaps you can work on tearin them up?  Just throwin it out there for you, S.  I’m a giver I am.

Any who, let’s work on getting past this habit quickly so we can be friends again, k?  I love ya, S.



2 Responses to “The house is not the park.”

  1. 1 b December 21, 2007 at 6:45 pm

    want to borrow that baseball bat? : ) maybe she just needs a hug?

  2. 2 meg December 23, 2007 at 11:30 am

    ahhhh Sandy….Well hopefully the pooping ceases inside soon!

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