They don’t make airborne for this.

So OK.  I vented last night.  That was suppose to make me feel better.  Sure.

It didn’t.

I’m not at all mad at my coworker who spewed on ignorant in-sensitivities.  Imagine how retarded she would feel if she only knew she was quoting the Gospel to the caretaker of the book?  Its not her fault she’s stupid.  Its not her fault her body likes her.  Its not her fault she will never experience true loss.  I get that.

Its just hard.  Hard for me to feel better.  I still have belly aches over the loss of Ashley.  And when someone else gets preggers – the first little half a second, my stomach turns over 6,000 x’s over.  My very first thought when anyone gets pregnant is “damn it they don’t deserve it first!!”.  That makes me a horrible person.  I know this.  But I can’t really help it.   I’m.  Horrible.

Not feeling better today.  Just blgh about it all.

Maybe the ginormous bar cookie I ate for lunch will help.  It probably had a month’s worth of crapness in it.


3 Responses to “They don’t make airborne for this.”

  1. 1 milkmaid79 December 12, 2007 at 3:23 pm

    You’ve gotta vent- if you keep it in you will do an impression of a bottle rocket and spew molten crazy all over the place. We’re always here to listen. And if you ever want to read something funny, well- I have this little blog 😐 Hugs girl~~~

  2. 2 kittenroar5 December 12, 2007 at 3:27 pm

    If you can’t vent on your blog, babe, you’re screwed. My attitude mirrors yours and I can’t imagine your loss. Hugs. Chocolate. Wine.

  3. 3 b December 13, 2007 at 9:36 am

    Your human..we all think that way sometimes. Not all of us have the cajones to admit it though. Be kind to yourself.

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