Completely off topic. Well, not really…

Yesterday, I posed this question to Mark:

If someone were to offer us 1 million dollars to have sex with me one time, would you let them?

(OK now everyone take the next 10 seconds to try to remember the name of the movie……………….it was “Indecent Proposal”. Can we all move on now?)

I waited for the obvious Marky style answer. An emphatic “Helz yeah! Get on out there and make me some money, woman!!” (He’s kidding people. Put down the phone. Oprah doesn’t need to be bothered on a Saturday.)

Instead I was blind sided with a look of complete disgust and a slathering of words strung together that sounded a lot like “No way. I would never let any other man touch you. I don’t care how much money they offered. Why do you want to go sleep with someone else?!?!”

Well, clearly Mark is on the rag.

I mean why the hell not I say? Anyone who has to pay 1 million dollars for sex is obviously horrible in the sack. Its not as though Mark is in any danger of being out shined. We’re talking pure sex here. Not a weekend in the country being draped in all the finest wares and shown how the other half lives. We’re talkin 30 seconds (if that) of some good old fashioned penis poking and girl faking sex. 30 seconds that could change our life.

Of course that wouldn’t mean we could quit our jobs and never work again. A million dollars can barely buy you a latte these days. But it would mean that we could have many many more months of IVF if we needed, plenty of money for adoption, a smaller mortgage in a better house, and savings for our invisible children’s college accounts. No, it wouldn’t change the world. No we wouldn’t up our lifestyle anti. But 30 seconds of horrible sex with some rich dork sure would elevate some future stress.

Hell, I had plenty of horrible sex in my younger days and many of those guys didn’t even buy me dinner. Ever! Mark doesn’t seem to have a problem with them because, as he puts it, they were all long gone before he arrived. This would be sharing and he’s not good at that.

I had to drop it because my theoretical question was starting to turn our theoretical argument into a full fledged fight. He’s still actually kind of upset about it. I don’t get it at all. Its not like I came home and said “Hey, I’m gonna go out for a bit. I gotta see a man about some money and have sex with him. Be home by dinner.” I just threw out a theoretical. Damn if my mouth isn’t going to get me killed some day.


6 Responses to “Completely off topic. Well, not really…”

  1. 1 milkmaid79 December 1, 2007 at 1:08 pm

    But if someone offered HIM the money, well then what would HE do?! He’d buck up and take one for the home team to provide for his family. He knows it- 😛 We know it 😛 It’s all good!

  2. 2 geohde December 1, 2007 at 4:23 pm

    My darling spouse made it quite clear that he’d wave me off, condoms in purse as soon as the cheque cleared… 😉


  3. 3 b December 1, 2007 at 4:25 pm

    Are you trying to kill him? I’d freak if K asked me a question like that. I say you have some making up to do with your ManBoy. I’m totally on your side Mark!

  4. 4 anne nahm December 2, 2007 at 10:08 am

    I had to slip out of that theoretical argument once: “I meant with Carmen Electra, honey. What did you think I meant?”

  5. 5 lazyppod December 3, 2007 at 12:08 pm


    I think my hubby would be pissed also if I posed that question!

  6. 6 kittenroar5 December 3, 2007 at 5:55 pm

    I’m all for a little easy money. A cool mil for one night. Easy, breezy.

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