A nothing post

I’m feeling a little barron today.  Like my innards are all dried up and dusty.  I have visions of tarps blanketing the furniture and cobwebs covering everything.  Maybe a slight windy whistle in the background and a chilly breeze seeping in through the broken window.  O this is just a haunted house?  O well good at least its not just me.

I was reading all the posts about grief last night and how everyone reacts.  Just reading this made me miss Ashley.  It also made me miss the children that I don’t have.  Is it weird to miss things that you never had in the first place?  Then I started to miss L and her kids.  And Daisy.  And it finally spiraled out of control to where I was missing Mark, and my grandparents, and Sandy…all beings that are still very much alive.  (Funny, my parents and sister never really entered the equation…hmm)  I had to be stopped.  It took my friend wine a good minute or so to calm me down.  Thanks, wine.  You really are too good to me.

So today I’m left with my empty haunted house, my anxiety, and a hangover.  Didn’t we already learn this lesson weeks ago?


7 Responses to “A nothing post”

  1. 1 b November 28, 2007 at 2:06 pm

    Well hell, you were fine the last time I talked to you last night. You sound sad, and now i’m worried about you. That’s not cool of you to make me worry. I am hopeful that 2008 finds you dusting off the cobwebs and making room for a baby.

  2. 2 geohde November 28, 2007 at 3:39 pm

    Joining you in that hangover…..

    2007 has, unequivocally, sucked.



  3. 3 Hilary (The Trying Game) November 28, 2007 at 5:12 pm

    I am sending you a big gooey hug my dear.

  4. 5 celebrate woo-woo November 29, 2007 at 4:58 am

    You’re absolutely allowed to miss something you never had. I’m sorry all those feelings got stirred up for you. Hope you won’t mind a gentle, virtual hug from a stranger;>

    And, not to crassly change the subject or anything, but in order to facilitate getting-to-know a few new blogs I’ve come across by way of NaBloPoMo, I’ve tagged you for a meme. You, obviously, don’t have to do it if you don’t want; I thought it was interesting, but it does involve digging through your own archives and could mean more feelings stirred up.

  5. 6 meg November 29, 2007 at 8:45 am

    Hugs to you…. I miss my dogs sometimes and they are alive… but I start missing them when I think about they won’t always be here. Just writing this is making me miss them!

  6. 7 kittenroar5 November 29, 2007 at 5:10 pm

    I understand that tandem… first the unquenched want… followed by the ache of missing. Hugs.

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