San Francisco’s finest officers, at 105

I just have to say it…

There should be an age cap for certain jobs.

There, I said it.

I was driving home tonight, and got caught in the most ridiculous cluster fuck in all the land and sea.  What was it you ask?  Well, use the restroom, grab your cocktail, sit back, and listen up…

It seems that the San Francisco police department may be too busy to write up any useless reports about silly things like felony hit and runs, but they are still rather open minded when it comes to the equal opportunity employment of billion year old, have dead cops.  I was one of the lucky few that got to bare witness to one in action this evening.  Officer Trillion year old used his one good eye to narrow in on a suspecting right-turner-without-stopping and pull him over.  Well, when I say pull him over, I really mean shine his flashy flashy lights so that right-turner-without-stopping will just stop in the middle of the street, blocking all traffic.  Officer Trillion year old kindly comes to a halt behind him and gets out of his car causing all other forms of life to grind to a halt until these two individuals come to some sort of agreement about the length of their conversation and move on.  Literally nobody else on the road was going to be moving for the next 10, 15, 8,000 minutes.  Lights are changing, horns are honking, all directions of traffic have slowed to zero miles an hour.  WTF!!

At closer observation, I noticed that Officer Trillion year old had the old man shakes!!  Is this man really still working on the force?  Really?  So what, when the suspect runs from the scene he what, dies of a heart attack and lets the bad guy go?  There was absolutely nothing ok about this little event.  I am all for equal opportunities for old people.  They don’t need to be banned from civilization to die in their strange smelling houses and be swallowed up under a doilies.  Go ahead.  Work.  But as one that is suppose to protect and serve me?  Do I feel safe with this?  Fuck no!  I mean if I was to “resist arrest” with this guy, would he even remember it long enough to write the report or would his narcolepsy kick in?  Personally, I think Sandy has a stronger resume.

So after giving right-turner-without-stopping his silly little ticket, we all got to unravel from this twisted mess and be on our way (which took aproximately 18.654 minutes).  As far as I could tell Officer Trillion year old didn’t have any sort of heart attack, stroke, annerism, or die on the scene, but without closer investigation, one really can’t be to sure.

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3 Responses to “San Francisco’s finest officers, at 105”


  1. 1 geohde November 28, 2007 at 12:12 am

    AH, but tickets make the police dept money. Officer Trillion has learned a few commercial lessons in this time…..

    J

  2. 2 b November 28, 2007 at 9:08 am

    I told you that you were going to be late. Silly girl, I’m always right. Now..any word on the love of your life? (the house woman, the house).

  3. 3 kittenroar5 November 29, 2007 at 5:09 pm

    Kind of feeling like some mean time?


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