24 hours of happy happy fun time

I think the man upstairs may be a little upset at my nonchalant comparison of pregnancy – one of life’s finest and most beautiful examples of the circle of life – to the consumption of a dead bird – yeah its the circle of life and all, but…ew.

I guess as payback, he decided to throw these little gems at me yesterday:

Let’s start out small (pun intended) and ease you into this craptacular day.  We have a mouse.  In my 32 years on this earth, I have never been privy to sharing my home with a mouse.  Being that I am unbelievably tidy (some might say anal) I am taking this as a personal blow to my ego.  Not only does this creep me out beyond reason, its just unsanitary.  While I know this is part of city life and that New York has more rats then people bla bla bla, I’m not taking this mouse thing well.

Let’s move on.  My father called yesterday.  While Mark and I were surgically connected to the couch for the day, my father decided to ring us.  Thanks to the wonderful advancements in modern technology, we were able to assess that a) he was calling from work and b) that we were not going to answer.  A simple 8 seconds later and we were listening to our vm on speaker phone.  “Hi Kathy, this is your dad.  Just wanted to call and say that we missed you yesterday.  We would love to talk to you if you’re interested.  We’re not sure what is going on here and we’re a little worried about you.  Give us a call.”  Yeah really.  It seems as though what has been 2 months time to the rest of us has been more of a blink to my parents.  The phone call that probably should have resulted from the email sent – 2 months ago – showed up yesterday.  Why, you ask?  Well because obviously they finally blinked.  (Kathy might actually be mad?  Wha???)  From my perspective, if it takes them two months to blink, it will take me at least that to blink back.  Time moves slow to retarded parents that don’t care so they probably wont notice.

Ready for the best news of ALL????  While 89.749% of us enjoyed our Thanksgiving holiday without avail, apparently somebody out there had a little too much eggnog and got behind the wheel.   After figuring out how to turn on the vehicle of choice, they managed to bumper car their way down the street smashing (at what appears to have been full speed) into our brand, spanking new car parked in front of our apartment.  What do to…what to do…well clearly just driving away and pretending this never happened is most logical because that is exactly what drunkie did.  When Mark and I tried to take Sandy to the dog park for some good ol fashioned exercise, we discovered their little mishap.  Our car is completely undrivable as they knocked the front wheels completely off the main structure of the car.  How fucking fantastic is this y’all???  The best part is that when we called the police to report this FELONY HIT AND RUN, they told us to come down to the station to fill out a report.  Umm…did they miss the part about where our car was undrivable?  That we have no way to get to the station?  And since when are there no available cops for car accidents in San Francisco???  You really mean to tell me that they are too busy to report to the scene of a car accident now??  Just writing this out now is making my blood boil again so just know that this is pretty fucked up to me.  Mark had to walk to the station and fill out the report while I called insurance.  Ironically, we just got our new insurance policy in the mail yesterday.  Today we get to watch a non-plated brand new suv get towed off to the chop shop.  No really.  What timing.

All this…exactly 1 year to the day…after accomplishing this little feet (no pun intended):

myfoot.jpg

(don’t get “Thanksgiving drunk”.  Ever.)

And I saved my absolute favorite for last.  Our Realtor ran comps for our favorite house and gave me the results yesterday.  It turns out that its priced to sell – which is just ever so slightly above what we can pay – and will most likely get multiple offers this week.  We will not be getting our first love.  We have to break up and I’m all torn up about it.  I think I need some chocolate ice cream, wine, a good cry movie, and my girlfriends.  Wait…without a car I can get none of those things.  Damn it.

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6 Responses to “24 hours of happy happy fun time”


  1. 2 geohde November 24, 2007 at 4:19 pm

    Oh crap, f-ck shit and piss. I cannot believe that some drunk turd would do that to your car.

    Vicariously furious for you,

    J

  2. 3 Orodemniades November 24, 2007 at 5:10 pm

    Dude, the car…holy moly.

    And your dad?

    And the house? Just means there’s something better waiting for you. Although things might go wrong with the house o’ love and you get it after all – it happened to us in Aberdeen!

  3. 4 kittenroar5 November 26, 2007 at 6:17 pm

    Fuck.

    Onward to the next twenty four hours!


  1. 1 Chagga chagga chagga chagga choo choo!! « B a b y B o u n d Trackback on November 26, 2007 at 12:15 pm
  2. 2 San Francisco’s finest officers, at 105 « B a b y B o u n d Trackback on November 27, 2007 at 10:56 pm

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