At least you didn’t die in the street today…

A man just had a massive heart attack and died in the middle of the street in front of my office.  Its complete and utter chaos outside.  Police, fire trucks, actual crime scene yellow tape.  The man was crossing the street, collapsed, and died.

While I sit here, bitching and ranting about whatever bugs me for the moment – baby stuff, house stuff, my family, cookies that miraculously grow out of bushes and the like- this man died.  I did not know this man.  I didn’t even see him.  But I feel so unexpectedly bad for complaining now.

I really do try to keep my life in perspective.  I often look for the silver lining (if for no other reason then I like shiny things), but wow did that one just smack me in the stomach with a goat.  (I just made that up, nobody actually harmed an animal in the making if this post)
I’m sorry for bitching about the rave last night.

I’m sorry for not moving on from my miscarriage.

I’m sorry for going on and on and on and on about my family (although not sorry for telling them to suck it)

I’m.  Just.  Sorry.

I did not die in the street.  I am still sitting very contently in my office.  A comfortable 70 degrees.  With a cup of chai and a beautiful Orchid that perfect Aunt sent.  I have a lot to be thankful for.  Maybe I’ll post about them later.  Not now.  Mr. Dead man deserves his own post.


5 Responses to “At least you didn’t die in the street today…”

  1. 1 Hilary (The Trying Game) November 12, 2007 at 5:50 pm

    Wow. I know what you mean, it’s amazing how things like that can bitch slap the perspective back into a person.

  2. 2 kittenroar5 November 12, 2007 at 6:48 pm

    I have these moments every once in a while. After my wreck, I thought it a lot, but we are human. We have to forgive ourselves for not being perfect.

  3. 3 geohde November 13, 2007 at 2:13 am

    Holy shit. Hon are you okay?

    I mean, I get damn shaky in a resus, and I’m expected to be there. Someone biting the dust right in front of you is not a normal experience for most people,


  4. 4 b November 13, 2007 at 10:57 am

    Whoa. That’s not a great way for you to end your day. Are you okay? I saw a homeless man lying on the freeway last year. He’d been struck by a car while trying to walk across 6 lanes of traffic. He was covered with a sheet..but noone was standing near him..everyone was just laughing and joking like there wasn’t a dead person lying there. It really freaked me out.

  5. 5 anne nahm November 14, 2007 at 4:15 pm

    That is very shocking and disturbing! I’m glad you are able to glean out it appreciation for life. I also thought, ‘but wait, his death does not make your sadness any less valuable.’ *hugs* I am reading backwards, so this is kind of a compilation of all the later posts too.

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