What next?

I’m blue today. Not literally so don’t call any emergency personnel. I’m just sad.

Mark and I have been discussing our plan of action moving forward.  Project: what next is in full force.  We’ve dealt with the move. We’ve concurred Mark’s mental/medical issues. We’ve…..we’ve…..well we deal with the miscarriage. It’s time to move on. There are still a few unfinished odds and ends to attend to – little stuff like: buying a house and another round of IVF. Just little things.

But what next? This is what Mark and I discussed  (or I discussed and Mark “uh huh”-ed). I’m far too crazy to just sit and muddle in this lovely calm for too long. In fact, my brain is getting close to explosion state as it is. I need something to pass the time.  Shall we go with house hunting or baby making?  You.  Back there in the corner.  Did I see your hand go up?

Baby making is of course top priority in our lives.  Has been since 1831.  No silly little break will change that.  Baby making is a necessity of life.  But!…

House hunting is something we have to do.  It will be stressful, annoying, and OK, I’ll throw in exciting as well.  But the stress and the packing is where I’m going with this one.  Buying a house and moving are going to require a lot of attention from the stress ball side of my brain.  Shouldn’t we get that out of the way before we open door number 2?  It has to be done.  It can’t be avoided.    It was always the plan and really is something we want to do.  We absolutely have to move.

If I am to have learned anything during our break its that one step at a time seems to work far better for Mark.  One step at a time is something he can handle without going off the deep end.  He can function and move through the atmosphere calmly with one step at a time.  While I pretty much always need chaos, I think I’m learning how to get the chaos I need that doesn’t effect Markypoo.  So when it comes to the big things, we will always move One.  Step.  At.  A.  Time.  (This does not mean Mark is fragile for any of you that read it that way.  He’s not.  Just not insane like me.)

So house first?  Ugh that puts the baby stuff on hold for at least another 3 decades.  No?  O, I’m exaggerating?  Take a little weekender  into the depths of my mind and you’ll think otherwise.   This is why I am blue.  I know I know, count my blessings, I have a lot of good, getting a house is exciting, bla bla bla.  I get it.  But let me have this one.  I have my own version of baby blues.

So while the rest of you get to prick your little butts with needles and go completely off your rockers, please enjoy this next round of whimsical notions about my house hunting prospects for the next 1 million posts.  We’ll get back to the baby stuff soon enough.


6 Responses to “What next?”

  1. 1 katarinajellybeana November 5, 2007 at 12:24 pm

    Forward progress in any area is forward progress!

    Oooh. House hunting is so much fun. Frustrating and stupid at times, but fun. And in the end, you get a place to call your own.

  2. 2 Hilary November 5, 2007 at 1:50 pm

    Sorry you’re blue. Some days are like that.

    I agree with Katarina – you’re moving forward and that’s a good thing. The baby stuff will still be there when you’re all done with the moving stuff.

    And by the way, what a strange email from your family. I am surprised they don’t “understand” why you are upset. If I may say so, I think you’ve handled everything perfectly.

    Hang in there.

  3. 3 b November 5, 2007 at 2:09 pm

    Sorry about the blue day. I’m having one too. I think we need a f*ckit bucket full of beer and chocolate..what do you think?

  4. 4 geohde November 5, 2007 at 3:00 pm

    As a woman who has to move house soon, too, I feel your pain.


  5. 5 meg November 5, 2007 at 6:01 pm

    Finding a house may be a nice distraction for a bit. And I think househunting is pretty fun! I look forward to your posts no matter what you are writing about!

  6. 6 kittenroar5 November 6, 2007 at 6:51 pm

    I thought house hunting was horrible. Not as bad as TTC, but definitely horrible. Do it quickly, like pulling off a bandaid, and get to the baby making quick!

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