I got picked last for the team

Saturday morning. At the hair salon for my color appointment (just highlights people, I am a natural blond). Sitting under the heat lamps reading the latest InTouch (journalism at its finest). Then it happened.

In walks another client with an infant. Looks no more then 2 or 3 weeks old. All of the stylists go rushing over to meet their new future client in the making while I continued to sit with my sloppy magazine. Not that big of a deal right? I mean we all see babies all the time right? Right.

New Mommy sits in the chair next to me. (this is getting a little less OK with me) I’m telling you that if they could have picked up my chair and hurled me out into the street to create more room to horde over new mommy, they absolutely would have. I was just waiting for someone to actually be bold enough to sit in my lap. Its not even that it was emotionally hard for me to see this baby. (I didn’t really look at it actually.) What was hard was that this was exactly how I feel every single day being played out in live musical form. I was being pushed to the side, unnoticed, and completely unnecessary while the Queen of importance sat inches from me, unattainable, unapologetic, unable to notice me behind her stylist shield. I was the uncool, new, fat, nerdy, ugly, loser kid on the block. Crap.

Its not like I can really be all that upset about it.  I dodge this kind of stuff everyday.  Anyone remember the baby isle incident?   I just hate being the uncool kid.  And when it comes to my ovaries and uterus, it don’t get more uncool then me.  I think I need to go cure cancer or adopt an entire family in Africa now to make up for it.  Anyone have a cheat sheet with instructions for the cancer curing?  No?  Damn that’s strike 2 for the day.


8 Responses to “I got picked last for the team”

  1. 1 Hilary October 13, 2007 at 5:16 pm

    Oh I have so been there and I know how much it sucks. I can think of one incident where I was at a party with my newly pregnant friend not long after I miscarried and everyone was paying so much attention to her (when are you due? picked out any names? morning sickness? blah blah blah…) and it wasn’t feeling invisible that hurt as much as the painful reminder that it should have been me. That I should have been pregnant but my baby was cruelly snatched away from me and I had nothing and no one cared.

    I felt sick about seeing babies and pregnant women for months after my miscarriage. I would intentionlly cross the street if it meant I could avoid passing them. Only recently have I begun to feel better and more accepting of them. I just had to keep reminding myself that just because they have babies doesn’t mean that I won’t, and that they’re not taking away from the world’s total allowable baby bottom line. It still hurts sometimes, and I still get jabs of pain in some situations. As the eternal optimist, I just keep hoping that I’ll be next…

    But shame on your hairdresser for not being attentive to you! Don’t we all go to hair salons to feel a bit pampered? How do your highlights look??

  2. 2 babybound October 13, 2007 at 9:39 pm

    O highlights look darn good. Just like always. Thank you for asking! 🙂
    And yes I totally agree, she should have been attending to me. I mean its not like highlights are cheap. Maybe I will focus all my rage and anger towards her now…..wait that’s far too much rage for one person….OK maybe just a little bit.

  3. 3 Hilary October 13, 2007 at 11:40 pm

    Down with the hairdresser!

    Glad to hear the highlights are stylin’ 🙂

  4. 4 geohde October 14, 2007 at 12:31 am

    Man, that sucks.

    Sounds like a perfectly good hair appointment got thoroughly ruined.


  5. 5 Eviena October 14, 2007 at 10:45 am

    I’m sooo sorry you felt leftout at the hair salon.

    I feel like that all the time during family gatherings, when all the attention is focused on the nephew and his mom. Well, he’s only a kid and I let him have it. Next time when I have a kid, my kid will outshine him, that’s what I think. ARGH, that’s so mean of me. I am being selfish, not just sometimes but most of the time and I hate myself for it.

    My chinese acupuncturist was telling me that, we have to open up our hearts to children and babies so that the baby-luck would come to us. She calls it “fishing”, and we need to cast a bait. If we want to have babies, we need to be kind-hearted and give our love to babies and children, even if the children belongs to some strangers and hopefully by doing that, the baby-luck will come to us. KWIM?

    I know it is hard to give unconditional love to every children and babies, but maybe the Baby-God will see our sincerity and grant us a baby too. I think that’s how life works anyway.

    Lately, I’ve opened my heart and embraced the nephew & SIL-ly situation, and it has made me happier, actually, much much happier than before. You have to face the situation bravely and look at it in the eye. Be brave and be strong!

    My acupuncturist also said something like “a stagnated Liver Qi is bad for reproductive health, and this stagnated liver Qi is caused by extreme sadness or jealousy”. So, be happy, open up your heart, be joyfull, go watch a comedy and laugh out loud. It will help conception. That’s the advice from my acupuncturist. I hope it will work for all of us because nobody deserves to be childless.

    Good Luck. May God Bless! ((((HUGS))))

  6. 6 Kristen October 14, 2007 at 3:40 pm

    Just what you need when you’re going to do something to make yourself feel awesome. I’m sorry you were treated that way. I think we’ve all been in that situation before and it blows.

    I hate how people act like pregnancy or new motherhood deserves a royal treatment or something. Hello! Women give birth everyday people! She is nothing special.

    You on the other hand will have gone through so much to achieve your little one. Now, that will be a reason to celebrate.


  7. 7 kittenroar5 October 14, 2007 at 7:59 pm

    And, they are every where! Every fucking place you look! I especially hate the ones in mega-stores with dirty diapers and dirtier feet. It’s as if the universe is sticking out is tongue and saying “even these train wrecks will make better parents than you.”

    I’m bitter. Sorry.

  8. 8 katarinajellybeana October 15, 2007 at 8:37 am

    Hell Yeah for the good hair (love that feeling).

    Hell Yeah for the being picked last (know the feeling well).

    Hell Yeah for knowing you might not ever get to join the club (hate that feeling most).

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