Stupid? Party of 1?

I set myself up for disaster today. How fantastic am I? I asked my mother to come over for dinner Saturday night. Why? I have no idea.

Let me set the scene for you: This is the same mother that feels family = kids and wants nothing more then to point out all of my flaws until I provide her with offspring. Add in her awkward need to compete with me over everything, throw in a dash of uncomfortable personality disorder, rants regarding our disappointing lifestyle and I have just slapped together one hell of a shin dig.

My mother knows nothing of our longing for child, attempts at producing one, or loss of attempt #1,000,834,986 . She has no clue that we are so clever at crunching numbers to fund project:baby. She is none the wiser that we have built a life for a lil pun-am that just hides quietly behind the sheet rock until we hit that button by the door and flip the walls around to reveal our “family” room. But her lack of knowledge here will, of course, not stop her from feeling a need to push us in the “right” direction (aka: what she wants).

Let’s see. It might be fun to predict the darts that all aim themselves in my general direction. But why take all the fun out of that first sting? I’m going to live dangerously.

3 Responses to “Stupid? Party of 1?”

  1. 1 NicaLMN September 21, 2007 at 4:45 am

    good luck on your courageous decision…

  2. 2 katarinajellybeana September 21, 2007 at 6:32 am

    Now, tell me again how is it we have the same life although we live across the country from one another?

    I HATE the conversations with the pouty, passive agressive comments like “It sure would be nice to have a baby around for next Christmas” (cue big, sad puppydog eyes) or “Have you seen your cousin’s baby lately? She is the sweetest little thing–maybe you should go over to visit and get some inspiration!” (Yes. Actual Quotes from the life of KatarinaJellyBeana. One from my dad, one from MIL Jelly Beana–Both sides!)

    Sorry for sucky dinner coming up. Think of some snappy comebacks like “Well, mom, you aren’t too old to adopt me a little brother or sister if you really want a baby around.” Or my favorite “Mom, wouldn’t you feel stupid if we HAD been trying.” Or –wicked– “But if we have a baby, we’ll have to cut way back on how much pot we smoke!” It would serve her right. Even if you don’t say them, thinking them at just the right time can help things out a LOT.

  3. 3 kittenroar5 September 21, 2007 at 6:19 pm

    Whoa. I’m sorry. I have nothing to say because I have nothing to compare. I hope it turns out okay.

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