A bitter infertile rant

Its all been said before but I’ll say it again.

Remember when…

1. you went on the pill in high school for fear that you would accidentally get preggers and ruin your life?

2. you stayed on the pill for years- enjoying all of its lovely side effects – for the same reason?

3. you thought the minute you decided you were ready to start a family you would be pregnant?

4. you went in for your first US on CD2 and were mortified that you were leaking like a sieve? (somehow this horrifying act seemed like something they hadn’t seen before)

5. US readings made absolutely no sense to you and you had no idea what you were looking at?

6. you timed out your injections perfectly to make sure it was always at precisely the same time? T minus 00:02:15 and counting….

7. you tried very hard to always get your shot in the exact same place the nurse showed you?

8. you used the alcohol swabs they gave you?

9. injections didn’t hurt because they meant that you were making progress?

10. you were actually pretty optimistic that this was going to work and you didn’t even consider planning for another cycle?

11. you assumed that your doctors were obsessing about your pregnancy as much as you?

12. you had sex just for fun and not even one thought of checking a calendar or putting your legs in the air popped into your head?

13. other people’s comments, babies, announcements, etc. had no ill effect on you?

14. your face wasn’t all swelled up to resemble a puffer fish?

15. calendars were how you remembered holidays and birthdays rather then ovulatory logs used to measure the units of time between cycles.

16. on your first bed rest, you not only stayed in bed, you pretty much never moved for fear the baby would fall out.

17. You thought miscarriages happened in very dramatic fashion involving massive blood loss, an ambulance ride and hospital stay every single time? Anything less must have had some other name and didn’t count.

18. You had nice perky boobs that you rarely squeezed?

Ahhhhh….the laughs……


1 Response to “A bitter infertile rant”

  1. 1 geohde September 18, 2007 at 10:57 pm


    I’ve never used the alcohol swabs, but then again I like to live on the wild side 🙂



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