Boy + Girl + sex= what?

I just found out that my past best friend is pregnant again (number 3…most fertile girl in the world). She’s actually due sometime in Sept but I really don’t know details. Its a boy so I guess I know something.

Ugh. I really hate finding out people are pregnant. I really really hate it. Its not that I can’t be happy for them, but it feels like a giant sucker punch. I really have a hard time balancing the good nice caring Kathy with the selfish bitchy I-want-mine Kathy. I don’t even talk to her anymore. We had a falling out a couple of years ago and it was really sad. I hold no ill feelings towards her and I still think of her as one of my best friends (which makes no sense as I wasn’t even told about this lovely good news. I read it on her blog). I AM happy for her. I am so glad that she just has to say baby and she ends up pregnant. But UUUUGGGHHH.

She’s not a bad mom. In fact she’s a brilliant one. I want to be like her someday. But UGH. Why does it suck so bad? Why? Am I THAT self absorbed? I am simply incapable of being happy for her on the inside. So unfair. Rant rant rant. Bla bla bla. UGH!


1 Response to “Boy + Girl + sex= what?”

  1. 1 Julie September 14, 2007 at 11:26 am

    I was starting to feel like I was the only one battling this dual personality thing. I had to go to a baby shower last week and it was so hard. Part of me is “happy happy” and internally the other part is “this really sucks! how long do i have to wait for my turn anyway?!” I wish I were the only one cause then no one else would have to deal with this.

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