Family + Home = ??

Today I went to visit my Dad at work. He took me out to lunch and we had a lovely time. All in all, I don’t have much to say about it, however, we did have one bit of convo that I found rather perplexing. Being that it is Sept 10th, naturally we were discussing Thanksgiving. (Dont you discuss what you will be having for dinner and with whom almost 3 months in advance?) Now that Mark and I took the big plung and moved closer to them, they feel it is our moral obligation to spend every holiday with them – rather then find every excuse under the sun to avoid holiday travel. To some extent, I do understand this. I even accept it. But Thanksgiving needs to be off limits.

I have spent the last 18 years (plus or minus a couple) hosting Thanksgiving for my orphan friends who truly cannot fly to their families for one reason or another. It has become my most treasured and favorite day of the entire year. I set the table using my finest wears. I make ridiculous amounts of food. I buy all kinds of little trinkets and bobbles to give to whoever comes. Everyone has a fantastic time and I go to bed exhausted but happier then I have been the entire year leading up to this event. Its MY DAY. Why should I have to give all that up because of a geographical alteration to my home base?? Of course they are not at all happy with this choice. I thought a possible “everyone is welcome to come to my house in the spooooky city” might help. I was completely wrong.

Then I thought: If I had a baby would I be expected to attend? If I had my own “family” would they make an exception?  To me, Mark and I are a family. We may not have daily rituals that include baths and diapers, but it doesn’t make our home any less of a home.

This really isn’t a giant complaint.  Its just an observation.  I think its very interesting how differently we all define the word family.  Over the last 2.5 years I have definitely changed my opinions on this subject.  My parents have not.  Would they if they knew about our baby struggles?  Who knows.  For now…I’ll just start with one Thanksgiving at a time.


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