Because you shouldn’t have to wait until to have breasts to start breast feeding

Umm.  Perhaps yes.  Yes you should.  This is the most fucked up shit I’ve seen since the shaving baby (Which also happens to be featured in this list of the top 7 most inappropriate toys).

Why do little girls need to pretend to breast feed?!?!  What purpose does this serve other than helping a pedophile get off under the guides of “playing grown up”?

How did this pitch go in the board room?  Was there research from a medical professional showing great advancements in child development when given small flower pedals as nipples and a doll that latches on?  Did they have a prototype?  O God.  Did they have little girls playing with the prototype? Surely the girl on the box is currently living in a safe house under the watchful eyes of psychiatric doctors right?  Right?

Jesus Christ.

OK somebody had to

Do we reeeaaally need a sign on the front door telling us not to bring guns in the building? Ok ok so it might be somewhat helpful at any infertility clinic, but this is just your run of the mill office building!?!

Even better. The icon all the way to the right? No cameras. As. I. Take. Pictures. Of. It.

…and. The. Security. Guy. Steps. Out. Of. The. Way.

I guess I must have done something really really wrong.

Hey all you lovely ladies out there lookin to score a kid, here’s a young stud just waitin for your phone call

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2233878.ece

I mean sure he’s like 8 lookin and you were hoping for a more sophisticated, adult type.  And yeah, having sex with him might get you convicted of statutory rape.  So what if his facial hair hasn’t even developed and his voice hasn’t cracked right?  Tough times call for tough decisions and this miniature baby maker might be the best we could hope for.

Now.  Let me go bang my head against a wall for about 8.46 minutes until my eyeballs pop out so that I don’t ever have to see this again.  Still working on a way to get the disturbing thoughts out of my mind.  Maybe without eye’s I’ll be able to focus.

Pullin a Britney on MUNI

…so yesterday I was minding my own business on my way to work when I saw this:

Seeing as I hate all things feet.  And all things gross.  And all things MUNI, this was a trifecta of fucking disgusting.  This woman was actually sitting on a subway train with no shoes or socks on.  Not even flip flops – something I myself choose never to wear in this germ tube.

I’m still having trouble with this.  I’m pretty sure an entire industrial sized container of hand sanitizer isn’t going to be enough to get me back to normal again.  Even if I bathed in it.  I can already feel the hepatitis growing in my legs and hands and I didn’t even sit near her.

From now on, I will probably be easy to point out on the train as I will be the one wearing this:

It really is the safest way to travel…

I almost have nothing to say about this one

I mean.  Wow.  It has hairspenders and legwarmers.  And being that Asians aren’t exactly known for their long thick body hair, or their fire crotches, what does this mean about their impressions of the white man?  Holy crap if my vagina hair grew so high it doubled as a fancy belt, I think it would probably trump all my stressin about babies.  WTF.  I’d probably be living under a squeeky metal bed somewhere afraid to ever show my face in the daylight.

Is this suppose to be teaching us something??